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The Fire Inside

Bryan Dent
Written by Bryan Dent
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It’s beautiful and horrifying at the same time. Bad whiskey and box wine have met, and their spawn is now unleashed on the world: “Firebox,” 3.5 liters of Fireball packaged inside plastic and cardboard.

Firebox has two 1.75 liter pounches inside, each with its own spigot. It’s everything that’s great about box wine — transportable, unbreakable, and a massive dose of alcohol — only this time packing a medicinal-tasting, underproof liqueur. If you don’t know what to make of it, the box itself helpfully provides recipes for such drinks as “Dragonade” and “Angry Balls.” (Below the recipes is printed an all-caps, apparently serious warning: PLEASE DRINK FIREBALL RESPONSIBLY.) Prices are in the $50-$60 range, depending on where you look.

Fireball has always been a favorite of younger drinkers — the same people, in fact, who buy box wine to play slap-bag and Tour De Franzia. Packaging Fireball the same way seems like a stroke of genius, likely to make everybody involved a lot of money. The danger is not that Fireball fans won’t dig it, but that nannies and scolds will try to get it pulled for “marketing to youth” or some such thing.

It’s also disorienting to see whiskey, even demi-whiskey like Fireball, pitched in this way (stay classy, FB). But if Firebox turns into the hit I think it will, we’ll all just have to get used to it.

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Bryan Dent

Bryan Dent

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